Catharsis

I'm a little bit inspired by one of the many blogs I read, Bangs and a Bun and her most recent post. It's heartbreaking, but shows how strength can come from something and a negative can become a positive.

It's this element, the negative turned positive, I wanted to go with and to, I guess, explain a little about me, why I am who I am and why I do what I do. To those of you who know me in real life, this is probably going to be a little dull, so apologies in advance...

One upon a time, there was a young lady called Charlie. She lived with her other half and her cats in a flat and believed herself to be happy and lucky and in love. Like any couple in love, they decided to get married and Charlie wanted to look fabulous for her big day. The only downside to this, she felt, was her size. She was, to put it bluntly, fat. Obese would be the doctors word for it and though she made an effort with herself (she always felt she had to make twice the effort to compensate for her size) she was uncomfortable and her health had started to suffer.

As a size 26

So, she started a diet plan, got herself a gym membership and worked her arse off. Literally. 3 times a week to the gym, hitting the cross trainer and the treadmill, the resistance machines, walking; whatever meant the weight would go. 6 stone in weight loss later, she was feeling a lot better in herself and happier.

She then had a bit of an incident at the gym she went to. On the treadmill one day, climbing a nice big hill, there was a pull and a tearing sensation, in her glute. She stopped. Pondered whether to continue and decided against it. There was always another day. Or so she thought.

 Three years of limping, pain, steroid injections, prescription painkillers and weight gain later, she was finally referred to Trafford General Hospital and their Physiotherapy Department. By this time she was depressed, miserable and believed that she was never going to improve. During these three years she had seen 5 different physios, private and NHS, but it was at TGH she met Nick. Nick went back to the beginning. Talked to her. Asked what happened those many years ago. Nick bullied and pushed and made sure she did her exercises. Nick effectively fixed Charlie. I love the NHS.

More comfortable, Charlie joined a new gym and as part of her package she got freebie personal training sessions and it was because of these she met Mike. Mike bullied and nagged and persuaded and helped Charlie lose the weight she'd put back on and more besides. He helped her strengthen her weak hip, strengthen her core, improve her balance - fix the other problems discovered on the way.

Mike introduced Charlie to running, to strength, to confidence. And if she got a little broken on the way, there was Nas the Physio to fix her again.

In total, I lost around 10 stone. I went from a size 26 to a size 12. I will never be able to thank Nick, Mike, Nas, nor Lisa and Emma and Sarah who go to classes with me, or the gym instructors who push me, enough.

I also know that my hubby, went through it all with me. He put up with the change in food, the massive changes that I put myself through. And I thank him for that too.

And I really won't lie. It was bloody hard work.

Now

I'm a stubborn cow at the best of times, and this has probably made me worse. I can tell you it takes commitment to stick to 1200 calories a day, to hit the gym 5 times a week. To go from terrified of running on the treadmill to running a 10km in just over an hour. I sometimes scare myself with how much I've changed and how strong I now am, both in mind and body.

There are things that I'd still like to change about myself. Going from such a big size to such a small one, means there are physical signs of the change. And yet, in a peculiar way I'm proud of that. I imagine a scar that shows how much I've changed and how different I am.

So, that's it. That's me. Fat to thin, weak to strong, confident to cocky, sad to happy. To you all, thankyou x